Undoubtedly one of the oddest things I have ever written. This was published in "Tokyo Notice Board" on 31st of December, 1999 for 4,820 yen (approximately £26). I even did the illustration.
As the Old Year turns into the New, as the Second Millennium makes way for the Third, TNB gives its readers what they really want – knowledge of the Future. At great expense from ‘The Other Side,’ we bring you that prognosticating genius, the mighty Nostradamus, with his cryptic musings translated into everyday English by our own newshound and rune reader, Colin Liddell.
TNB: Mr Nostradamus, you’re the kind of guy I’d like to have next to me when I go to the racetrack. Do you have any tips for next year’s Derby or perhaps the World Cup?
Nostradamus: Unfortunately, my powers of prognostication do not extend to the sporting realm.
TNB: So, you’re telling me you can predict complex socioeconomic events with all their diverse cultural and random factors thousands of years into the future, but you can’t predict which piece of horseflesh is going to outdistance the others?
Nostradamus: Exactly.
TNB: How inconvenient. Anyway, I’m sure our readers are more interested in how the World’s going to turn out than in winning easy money at the racetrack. Could you start by shedding some light on Japan’s destiny?
Nostradamus: Well, the good news is Japan will enter into closer relations with its neighbour China. The bad news is it will become a satellite of its larger neighbor, rather in the same way that Tibet now is.
TNB: Surely there must be a smudge on your crystal ball! How can an economic giant like Japan with the US to back it up possibly fall under the influence of a nation of bicycle riders?
Nostradamus: As you may already be aware, Japan’s economic prosperity was a transient phase based upon a rigid work and education ethic that no longer exists. Also because the US and its allies wanted Japan to be a bulwark against Communism, they allowed Japan to build up its economy by exporting freely. Those days are now gone. Once the US works out a cozy business relationship with the Chinese, they won’t worry about Japan too much, and so Japanese governments will become increasingly subservient to Beijing.
TNB: How about the rest of Asia?
Nostradamus: With Chinese power on the rise in the North of Asia, surprising developments will take place in the South. As Yugoslavia did, Indonesia will break up into a number of smaller states which, along with countries like Malaysia, Singapore, and the Philippines, will come under the economic influence of Australia whose multinational population will continue to grow. Together these states will form a kind of South-Asian/ Oceanic union that will increasingly use English as a common language so that one day, this region will comprise a vast multinational state with more native English speakers than the USA.
TNB: Will the World of the next Millennium be a safe place?
Nostradamus: Over the next 50 years, the proliferation of nuclear weapons will cause many problems. Petty states and terrorist groups will acquire them and in the year 2028, a terrorist group will attempt to smuggle a hydrogen bomb into Washington and destroy the US capital. The reaction to this event will lead to the creation of a new international order in which all nuclear technology will be stringently controlled. This will force police and intelligence agencies across the world to work together and create a kind of international police state that some will see as the end of human freedom. Luckily, people will still be able to vote. Indeed, the Internet will make it possible for more and more people to participate in the day-to-day decisions of government, although certain key areas will be insulated from populist whims and remain under the control of the technocrats and politicians.
TNB: How about the more long-term future?
Nostradamus: There have been a lot of developments in the fields of artificial intelligence and genetic engineering. People will start to use cloning and genetic engineering a lot more despite a few old fuddy-duddies. I also foresee the digitalization of human consciousness and personality, which will make it possible to download your mind onto a computer disc. In case of death there will always be a back up copy which can then be ‘Installed’ into a freshly cloned body so that death – and indeed birth – will lose much of its sting. Also, people will have their bodies genetically engineered to their own desired specifications. At first they will seek to increase the intelligence capacity of their brains, but when they realize how much more miserable knowledge makes them, they’ll reverse the intelligence trend and just design their bodies to be fit and beautiful, all except for a small group of intellectuals and megalomaniacs who will continue to increase their brain size until they rule the planet, but their heads will be so enormous and distorted that they’ll have to spend their whole life in fish tanks or their necks will break. The giant heads will control the planet from inside their fish tanks while the beautiful people will just play beach sports and frolic in the surf, rather like the characters from Bay Watch.
TNB: I only hope I live long enough to see it. TNB thanks you on behalf of our readers, for granting us this truly wonderful/horrifying glimpse into the future.
TNB: Mr Nostradamus, you’re the kind of guy I’d like to have next to me when I go to the racetrack. Do you have any tips for next year’s Derby or perhaps the World Cup?
Nostradamus: Unfortunately, my powers of prognostication do not extend to the sporting realm.
TNB: So, you’re telling me you can predict complex socioeconomic events with all their diverse cultural and random factors thousands of years into the future, but you can’t predict which piece of horseflesh is going to outdistance the others?
Nostradamus: Exactly.
TNB: How inconvenient. Anyway, I’m sure our readers are more interested in how the World’s going to turn out than in winning easy money at the racetrack. Could you start by shedding some light on Japan’s destiny?
Nostradamus: Well, the good news is Japan will enter into closer relations with its neighbour China. The bad news is it will become a satellite of its larger neighbor, rather in the same way that Tibet now is.
TNB: Surely there must be a smudge on your crystal ball! How can an economic giant like Japan with the US to back it up possibly fall under the influence of a nation of bicycle riders?
Nostradamus: As you may already be aware, Japan’s economic prosperity was a transient phase based upon a rigid work and education ethic that no longer exists. Also because the US and its allies wanted Japan to be a bulwark against Communism, they allowed Japan to build up its economy by exporting freely. Those days are now gone. Once the US works out a cozy business relationship with the Chinese, they won’t worry about Japan too much, and so Japanese governments will become increasingly subservient to Beijing.
TNB: How about the rest of Asia?
Nostradamus: With Chinese power on the rise in the North of Asia, surprising developments will take place in the South. As Yugoslavia did, Indonesia will break up into a number of smaller states which, along with countries like Malaysia, Singapore, and the Philippines, will come under the economic influence of Australia whose multinational population will continue to grow. Together these states will form a kind of South-Asian/ Oceanic union that will increasingly use English as a common language so that one day, this region will comprise a vast multinational state with more native English speakers than the USA.
TNB: Will the World of the next Millennium be a safe place?
Nostradamus: Over the next 50 years, the proliferation of nuclear weapons will cause many problems. Petty states and terrorist groups will acquire them and in the year 2028, a terrorist group will attempt to smuggle a hydrogen bomb into Washington and destroy the US capital. The reaction to this event will lead to the creation of a new international order in which all nuclear technology will be stringently controlled. This will force police and intelligence agencies across the world to work together and create a kind of international police state that some will see as the end of human freedom. Luckily, people will still be able to vote. Indeed, the Internet will make it possible for more and more people to participate in the day-to-day decisions of government, although certain key areas will be insulated from populist whims and remain under the control of the technocrats and politicians.
TNB: How about the more long-term future?
Nostradamus: There have been a lot of developments in the fields of artificial intelligence and genetic engineering. People will start to use cloning and genetic engineering a lot more despite a few old fuddy-duddies. I also foresee the digitalization of human consciousness and personality, which will make it possible to download your mind onto a computer disc. In case of death there will always be a back up copy which can then be ‘Installed’ into a freshly cloned body so that death – and indeed birth – will lose much of its sting. Also, people will have their bodies genetically engineered to their own desired specifications. At first they will seek to increase the intelligence capacity of their brains, but when they realize how much more miserable knowledge makes them, they’ll reverse the intelligence trend and just design their bodies to be fit and beautiful, all except for a small group of intellectuals and megalomaniacs who will continue to increase their brain size until they rule the planet, but their heads will be so enormous and distorted that they’ll have to spend their whole life in fish tanks or their necks will break. The giant heads will control the planet from inside their fish tanks while the beautiful people will just play beach sports and frolic in the surf, rather like the characters from Bay Watch.
TNB: I only hope I live long enough to see it. TNB thanks you on behalf of our readers, for granting us this truly wonderful/horrifying glimpse into the future.
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